Andrew Patner tagged me.
I never respond to chain letters, both because I don't want to encourage them and because I've been much too busy corresponding with Madame DeNuovo, who has $50,000,000 she needs my help getting out of her native country.
However, when you're "tagged", as I have just have been by cultural critic and blogger Andrew Patner, I can't really decline. I'm just upholding the law. It's a federal law, actually.
So here, apparently, are the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.
1. The nearest book is one I've been meaning to finish for the past fifteen years. (I'm basically illiterate, and this book has no pictures.)
2. I found page 123 by locating pages 122 and 124 and rummaging about in between them.
3. Here's carrots for lunch
At tuppence a bunch.
(I think that's one sentence; the author's style of punctuation veers toward the idiosyncratic)
4. "Oh!" exclaimed Albertine, "cabbages, carrots, oranges. All the things I want to eat. Do make Françoise go out and buy some.
5. Unfortunately, AP has already taken my own most likely choices, and since I lead a hermetic existence that generally shuns contact with other human beings, I have to stretch a bit to come up with:
a. John Hill, who left Chicago for the corrupt Eastern seaboard and has seen his blog's readership numbers soar ever since, damn him.
b. Blair Kamin, because he has a Pulitzer and I can't even get a prize when I buy a box of Cracker Jack.
c. Toronto's Terry Murray, because I've already quoted Bill Murray elsewhere in this post, and because she has a great blog tracking down interesting gargoyles.
d. Donald Trump, because he was just in Chicago to dedicate his new Trump Tower, and never stopped by to say, "Hi!"
e. Mark Cuban, because he's probably going to buy the Chicago Cubs and because I believe that, now that Fidel is gone, we should all try to get along better with the Cubans.
OK, can I go to bed now?